10-21-2010

Dear Baby,
Well a lot has happened in the past three months. I found out I was pregnant in July, however I was pregnant for about 11 weeks when I found out I had what was called a blighted ovum.This is where the body becomes and acts pregnant, however the baby never forms. I was "pregnant" for 11 weeks with no baby. I was hungry and tired all the time so sometimes I wonder if it was just all in my head? Or was my body really reacting that way? Needless to say going through a miscarriage has not been a very fun process. I had to have a suction d&C surgery that was followed by a lot of pain and bleeding. I am now feeling back to normal, however I know it may take a while for my body to be back to normal.
My plans now are to go running consistently again and do a half marathon in January. I would really like to get under two hours! I would also like to be in really good shape the next time I get pregnant and we can start trying again in December. I am very optimistic that everything will turn out fine and be for the better. I know that  Heavenly Father has a great plan and this is part of it. I think he was wanting it to be a wake-up call to me that I am actually going to be a mom and that is a HUGE responsibility! I definitely see things in my life that need improvement and I am working on those so that by the time i am a mom I will be both spiritually and physically prepared.
Tonight was a special night, amidst work and everything else going on I got to take a break and President Anderson (Our stake president an Martin family friend) came over to our house He heard about my miscarriage and wanted to visit and help us out in any way possible. He spoke with us then he and Marcus gave me a blessing for comfort. It was a great blessing and I am so grateful for a worthy priesthood holder husband who truly loves me unconditionally. He is amazing and I am so blessed to be his wife. I am also grateful for a stake president that truly cares about me and wants to help. He is an awesome man and I felt the spirit so strongly with him here. Lastly I am 100% grateful for my Heavenly Father who knows and loves me personally. He knows my pains and he would never give me a trial that I couldn't get through. He is always there for me and helps me so much and I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of a loving Heavenly Father. Also, I am thankful for mu Mom. She came to town last week with Cedar, Shiloh and Marshall and all weekend she too care of me. She cooked and cleaned and was wonderful. I am so blessed to have such an awesome mom and I love her so much.
Life is good. I am so blessed. I couldn't ask for anything more... except maybe a baby relatively soon:)

Love, Mom